Saturday, November 17, 2012
Friday, November 9, 2012
Please introduce yourself when you send a "friend" request to me.
First, Christianity is my faith of choice, and it a cornerstone of my life.
That said, some of my friends are not Christians. They are some of the nicest, most awesome people I know, and I welcome them to share their thoughts openly with me.
That said, some of the nicest, most awesome people I know are Christian, and I welcome them to share their thoughts openly with me.
That said, some of the meanest, most abrasive, most narrow minded, most bigoted, most prejudiced, most judgmental people I know are in all camps -- Christian, Atheist, Pantheists, non-theist, etc.
I'm a hopeless romantic Christian Gay devoted wife kinda man hoping to find a husband. I've always been (and always will be) dead set against NSA, hookups, open relationship, cheating, and the like. I know that narrows the field a lot.
I spent the first eighteen years of my life (1957-1977) growing up where ever my dad was stationed while he worked his career in the US Air Force -- Texas, Maryland, Alaska, South Carolina, Oklahoma, Georgia.
I spent the next few years going to colleges (Oklahoma, Georgia, Tennessee, Missouri) and trying to figure out how to not be gay so I wouldn't go to hell. I had been dreaming of having a husband ever since I was twelve. So, I got married and sired children (hoping to cure myself) -- I ended up helping to set a lot pain and difficulty in motion for people (each person has his/her own valid spin on all the matters).
Around 1989 court papers made the divorce final. Qualifying for a job that would enable me to get through the Child Support years, was my priority. It's a long story full of short stories. I struggled to make the child support payments while going through college (again). I missed some. I picked an easy academic major (Home Economics) to get the job done, and I taught middle school Home Economics to get me through the child support years.
I was in my early 40's when I fell in love with a specific man. Until then, it had happened only in my dreams. Until then, I had had many crushes on many boys (my age) and men (around my age). Finally, I entered that world of romance and bliss.
I didn't plan to fall in love with someone who lived half a world away. Does anyone "plan" where and how he/she will fall in love? I could dive into all sorts of psycho babble about all sorts of matters at work in the mix. I was in my early 40's and I was, for the first time in my life, enjoying romantic bliss. I decided to enjoy it as much as I could.
For several years, I traveled to the Philippines from Atlanta. I spent summers there doing as much venturing about the country as I could. I saw so much that was so different from life as I knew it. I saw so much that was so much the same. Hugs, kisses, cuddling, romantic moments -- under clear starry nights, along peaceful shores, here, there, and everywhere -- were continually in the mix. I had his name added next to mine in the book of "Who's Who Among America's Teachers." I began an investment into a studio apartment there. I was in it for keeps.
At the beginning of the summer of 2007, shortly after my arrival in Manila, he confessed to me he had been unfaithful and had been tested HIV+. While there, I insisted that he be re-tested. The results were the same. We agreed it was best for us to end that relationship.
I fell in love again, but after I lost my job as a teacher in the USA. Years before, I had posted some pictures of me wearing skimpy clothes (beach wear during travel times) on some internet pages and some students and parents found them. They complained and the school board made it's recommendations. I resigned my position. I returned to the Philippines, met a new guy and his family. He told the whole family and all his friends that we had committed ourselves to each other. With open arms, everyone accepted that. They accepted me. It felt like a God-send.
I helped him finish his university education. We shared with the world (on Youtube). It seemed like a perfect romance.
I hadn't thought about any job in South Korea. Instead, I went to truck driving school, and began driving 18-wheeler trucks. After a major accident (not my fault), my employment was terminated. Then, a Youtube subscriber suggested a job in South Korea. I didn't jump on it just to be closer to the Philippines. I jumped on it, because I was desperate for a job, and I saw it as obtainable. I was headed for bankruptcy as it was (although I have never yet filed), at least I could survive, live, and learn some more. I had finished paying all my child support. I had paid off my educational loans. Within two months after applying, I left everything behind in the USA, and started again from scratch. I landed in Korea in October, 2008.
Since landing in South Korea, I've returned to the USA twice to visit my family, and to the Philippines to visit my "husband" and family there.
In in the middle of 2011, he sent me an email -- "I've been cheating on you. Can we be friends?" It turned out (as he said) that he had been cheating on me for over a year and a half.
In February, 2012, my boss asked me "Didn't they tell you?"
"Didn't they tell me what?" I asked.
"We're closing the school at the end of the month." (barely two weeks away).
They still owed me salary for half of January.
They owed me three years of severance pay, but were never able to pay it.
Within two weeks (thanks to a company manager), I interviewed and was hire for a new teaching position in another town. Suddenly, I was thrust into the new immigration rules of South Korea and had to obtain fresh documents from the USA. Thanks to my sister and mom, I was able to get all that done.
Consequently, due to my losses in salary, I ended up losing my investment in the studio I was purchasing in the Philippines.
Gosh! I've been such a loser at so many things! Yet, I've enjoyed so much too. What will the balance yield in the end?
I've enjoy my new job. I've enjoyed living in the new town. But, I've hated the dating scenario here in South Korea. I'm not saying it's different from anywhere else. I'm simply saying I've not liked it at all. Seems like everyone is set on "No Strings Attached," secrecy, deceit, no commitment, rush for sex, and open relationships. Much of it seems like a game of carefully saying things to avoid out right lying about motives and pursuits, but (at the same time) avoid telling the whole truth.
Looks like I'm becoming an old maid.
I don't know what God has up His sleeve. I never do know. I've decided to not worry about that. I've decided to not worry about "tomorrow" to much.
I don't know what I will do after my time in South Korea ends. But, life has been full of pleasant surprises too.
I pray for wisdom.
That's my spin for now, and I'm sticking to it. Have a nice day!